Unlike before, I can pick myself up

For most of my life, I have been in a battle with myself. Nothing was good enough for me. I was not good enough for me. This perspective worked till I was in the protected and privileged environment of my home. It motivated me to do better. But once I started working and was away from home, the harshness of the world got to me and I simply could not handle my internal battles with the external battles of life. I collapsed, because of that same battle in my head. Even though there was no tragedy in my life, I was forced into a bout of major depression. Exhaustion took over and my body stopped supporting me.

One year later, I am in another country, without my family and friends, without any support. I am a student in such an intensive program that shakes up people who do not even have mental health issues. But I am getting through it with my mental and physical health intact. It’s not about being perfect anymore or about being productive all the time. It’s about enjoying my experience and learning from it. Yes, I still struggle. But unlike before, I can pick myself up. That is what therapy has taught me. To be my own support system. To learn to live and love myself unconditionally.

– Akanshi

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